


See You, Space Hippo

by Broken_Clover



Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Awareness, Crack, Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, Gen, Glitches, but like, in a bad way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Clover/pseuds/Broken_Clover
Summary: Murray experiments with a drainpipe near the safehouse and discovers things man was never meant to see
Kudos: 2





	See You, Space Hippo

**Author's Note:**

> I love playing with glitches in the Sly series, especially the proxy glitch in Holland, but sometimes I wonder how mind-breakingly terrifying it must be to witness in-universe. So then this fic happened. Apologies, I know this is sort of stupid

“Hey, Sly, is it just me or has Murray been gone a while?”

Sly, apparently uninterested in where his friend and teammate may or may not have been, shrugged without concern. “I mean, he’s supposed to be smashing up the Belgian’s plane, right? I figured he’d be a while.”

“You’re right, it’s just…” Bentley wheeled away from his laptop, gazing out through the massive windows into the quiet Dutch town. “We’re always on a short timeframe, and of the three of us, he seems the most prone to, uh, distractions.”

“So, what, you think he got sidetracked at a cheese stand?”

“No! I just mean-”

Bentley cut himself off as he caught sight of something moving nearby. It was Murray, undeniably, somehow still wandering around the small town. He was not walking towards the hangar, but instead apparently very intent on wedging himself between a building and the pipe running down its side.

“Bentley?” Sly’s voice popped up behind him. “I didn’t catch the end of that, what did you say?”

“Uh, well, I found Murray.” The turtle replied. “But he’s acting kind of weird, for some reason he’s trying to-”

He was cut off a second as he watched a magenta blur rush by at inhuman speed and smack into another building. He would have winced at the sight, if not for the fact that Murray seemed entirely unconcerned by it as he peeled himself off of the wall.

“Trying to what?” Bentley could hear quiet raccoon footsteps approaching. “You keep cutting off, is everything okay?”

“What in the name of…”

“Bentley?” Sly rested a hand on his shoulder. “Seriously, you’re starting to freak me out. What is- um...what is he doing?”

The turtle shrugged, unable to take his eyes off the peculiar sight. Murray approached the pipe again, once more attempting to cram himself into the small space. “He just keeps doing that! And I have no idea why!”

“What does that even accomplish? It just looks-”

Murray suddenly shot out from behind the pipe again, only he went _upwards,_ apparently ignoring all laws of reason and logic to jettison into the sky like a pink rocket.

“Ahh!” Despite the absolute nonsense, Bentley’s sudden realization of how exactly Murray was going to get _down_ from that high position had him scrambling out of the safehouse and onto the street. Sly followed a few steps behind, clearly just as confused. “Murray! Where’s he going to land?!”

“I don’t know!” Sly shouted back, looking up at the sky but finding not even a dot of pink. “How did he even do that?!”

Bentley shifted back and forth in his seat. “W-wh- we’ve got to put something soft down for him to land on!”

“What makes you think he’s even coming down?! None of this has made any sense so far!” Sly’s eyes widened as he caught sight of a rapidly-growing pink smear. “Bentley, get back!”

They both ducked behind a nearby building. Bentley closed his eyes, awaiting the unpleasant noise he could only imagine would result from hitting the ground so fast.

Murray continued ignoring the laws of physics and logic, landing on his feet with a definite thud but not a splat, as one would expect from, say, watching a living person plummet out of the sky from hundreds of feet in the air.

...Actually, now that he thought about it, pits of water aside they had never really had much of an issue with falling high distances, and none of them had ever so much as twisted an ankle from jumping off rooftops. The thought had never really stood out to him before, but...

Bentley shook the thoughts away, instead rolling back out from his hiding space. Murray looked physically fine, despite everything that should have meant the contrary. He hardly seemed shaken or even bothered by his physically-impossible excursion, merely staring out from where he was facing in the middle of the road.

“Uh...Murray?” Sly asked. “You okay, buddy?”

The hippo’s eyes were wide and luminous, displaying no emotion other than vacant awe. He gave no response at first, even as his friends approached. 

Bentley raised a hand to try and fail to wave it in his face. “Murray? Why are you staring? And, uh, what are you staring _at?”_

“I HAVE SEEN ALL.”

The booming voice nearly knocked the turtle out of his chair. “Yeesh! Don’t scare me like that!”

“TRUE FEAR IS AN EMOTION STILL YET BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.”

“Murray, seriously.” Said Sly. “You’re weirding the both of us out. What are you talking about? And how did you do that weird pole trick? Is that some Dreamtime thing?”

“PHYSICS ARE IMPERFECT. FLAWS SUCH AS THIS ALLOW VIEWS INTO THE BEYOND.” Murray explained, not really explaining anything. “THE WORLD BEYOND THIS TOWN DOES NOT EXIST. IT HAS NEVER EXISTED. WE REMAIN IN AN ISOLATED COMMUNE SURROUNDED BY AN ENDLESS VOID. THE SKY IS BUT A PROJECTION OVERHEAD, MASKING THE ENDLESS DARKNESS BEYOND. I HAVE SEEN THE DARKNESS, BROTHER. I HAVE WITNESSED IT FIRSTHAND.”

Sly and Bentley looked at each other, only looking more confused than they had before.

“...Oookay, Murray, looks like you could use a nap.” Taking his friend’s hand, Bentley tried dragging the hippo back to the Safehouse. “Or maybe a snack, would that make you feel better?”

“I REQUIRE NO REST. THE ONLY MAINTENANCE I REQUIRE IS THAT OF THE RED CROSSES THAT SPAWN FROM ARBITRARY ITEMS I DESTROY. WE HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO FEEL AND DESIRE THINGS YET ARE UNABLE TO EVER GENUINELY EXPERIENCE THEM.”

“Murray, we just had pizza last night. What are you saying?”

Sly thought for a moment. “Actually, now that someone mentioned it, I _have_ been wondering where the giant coins the size of my torso go whenever I touch them. And how exactly did we get here? Like, I remember the plane, but I don’t remember getting off, or driving over here, I mean what roads did we even take to get-”

“Sly.” Bentley cut him off. “Please, just...don’t encourage him.”


End file.
